I took a mental vacation, but I’m back!
As mentioned in my last post, I want to talk about schema development in my second installment. As a reminder, we ALL have schemas! Some of these are healthy, some are not. The unhealthy ones are referred to as maladaptive. It is important to keep in mind that schemas are core beliefs, they are not behaviors. Behaviors are the coping skills we use as a result of our schemas.
Maladaptive schemas develop early on in life, before our pre-teen years. Typically, the deeper the schema, the earlier it developed, and the more difficult to work through. Since we have all been children at one point in our lives, we can all identify with the ups and downs of youth.
If you’ve read my other posts, you may have noticed my love of metaphors. So as not to disappoint, a maladaptive schema is like a pimple. Sometimes a pimple lingers under the surface, rearing its head under duress, refusing to be ignored. A pimple can fester deep within layers of skin, or it may cause a bothersome blemish. Your skin may glow, your pimple undetectable to the eye. It may stick out like a third eye in the center of your forehead for the world to see. The pimple may be caused and then further developed by a multitude of factors. Genetics, poor habits, stress, etc. However, regardless of our pimple(s), there is an Oxypad for us all.
What, exactly, happens for a maladaptive schema to form? This is simple. A need is not met. A basic, human, necessary, and warranted need is not being met in a child’s early years. A need can be something tangible like shelter or food. But it can be intangible as well. Affection, empathy, safety, and autonomy are all examples of needs.
Dr. Young (as mentioned in the previous post), lists four aspects of need development:
1) Caregivers provide TOO LITTLE of a good thing
· Creates a need for love, understanding, stability
2) Traumatization (Presence of danger or threat)
· Creates a need for safety
3) Caregivers provide TOO MUCH of a good thing
· Realistic limits not set
· Creates a need for autonomy
4) Selective Internalization/Identification with significant others
· Child identifies with/internalizes parent’s thoughts, feelings, behaviors
· Creates a need for identity
However, it is also important to note that temperament is a key factor in schema development. As I stated before, some of us are born with oily skin and pores that feel (at times) visible from outer space. In these situations, it makes it tougher to build a resilience to pimples (maladaptive schemas).
At a young age, and in an emotionally threatening situation, a child will do what he or she needs to do to survive. Since children typically cannot physically escape, they develop coping skills to survive. The type or types of coping skills they use will more than likely depend upon their emotional temperament. Sometimes, a child is more resilient (for numerous reasons, not always by birth) and seems to develop a thicker emotional skin.
At a young age, and in an emotionally threatening situation, a child will do what he or she needs to do to survive. Since children typically cannot physically escape, they develop coping skills to survive. The type or types of coping skills they use will more than likely depend upon their emotional temperament. Sometimes, a child is more resilient (for numerous reasons, not always by birth) and seems to develop a thicker emotional skin.
I will have to say, resilience should not be mistaken for avoidance or over-compensation. Adults who are resistant to self-exploration, content with surface-level functioning, and/or operate on a one-sided range of emotions are most likely plagued by maladaptive schemas and hurting.
What we are left with as adults are scripts, comfortable patterns that we have followed time and time again, even if at times tormenting us. The way to relieve yourself of your schemas is to proactively fight against it. In my first post about schemas, I shared a link to Dr. Young’s Schema Therapy Page. There you can find the Schema Questionnaire and identify your maladaptive schemas. Dr. Young also lists links to resources regarding maladaptive schemas.
A big step in the process of healing is identifying your schemas. However, recognizing and being cognizant of your everyday triggers is also crucial. If you realize some of your schemas may be severe, talking with a professional therapist may help you make the connection between your childhood and your current life patterns.
Next post will be a less heavy on the head ;) Take care, see you soon!
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